Those who constantly try to impress others will quickly depress themselves. ~Lysa Terkeurst
In Tuesday’s post I shared about letting go of perfection, the first trait of the Not So Busy Mom. Today I am sharing trait number 2 which is closely connected to the first trait.
Trait #2: The not so busy mom lets go of the need to impress others.
I care very deeply about how others see me or think about me. That desire is not all bad. I love God and I love people, and I want that to be evident in the life I live. At the same time, if I am constantly putting pressure on myself to impress others then I can quickly add extra busyness and craziness to my life.
As the opening quote from Lysa Terkeurst implies, you can only sustain impressing others for so long because eventually this trend will negatively affect you.
We can’t please everyone all the time, and we shouldn’t try.
Eventually we will disappoint someone.
If you feel the tendency to try to impress others to the point of way too much extra stress and busyness in your life, consider the following:
- We all have different gifts. Your best friend may be a fantastic cake baker, and your neighbor might be a design pro. You might have a friend who has an eye for style and a sister with super organizational skills. You are not them, and they are not you. Appreciate the gifts of others and be thankful for your unique gifts.
- True friends know you and love you no matter what. Your true friends won’t care if the meal isn’t perfect or your house isn’t tidy. True friends won’t be concerned about the party decorations or the appetizer table. Know that your friends love you, and they don’t need you to impress them.
- You don’t have to be like everyone else. We see another mom throwing an extraordinary birthday party, and we think we need to do the same. Our neighbor signs their children up for every activity imaginable, and we believe we have to do that, too. The moms at the bus stop talk about their crazy schedules, and we wonder if our simple life is boring. We are all different. You don’t have to be like everyone else. Be you. I’m guessing a lot of people will find your life refreshing and inspiring.
We spend a lot of time looking at other people’s lives. It’s the reality of a social media-crazed culture. Please remember (as many people have mentioned before), we usually share (on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, etc.) the “highlights”. We share the clean kitchens, the smiling children, the fancy date nights, the elaborate dinners and the festive birthday parties. Deep down we know these “perfect” moments aren’t really perfect and cannot be sustained, but we see the highlights, the photo-worthy moments and we try to keep up. It’s what we do.
Instead…
Let’s live authentically. Live intentionally. Don’t worry about trying to impress others. Share your life (the highs and the lows) with others. Encourage your friends and acquaintances to do the same.
Let go of the need to impress and live a life that’s just a little less busy.
What about you? Do you struggle with the need to impress others? Share your thoughts on this topic in the comments. I would love to hear from you!
Until next time,
Charissa
5 Books that Have Inspired and Encouraged the Not So Busy Mom
It’s so easy to get caught up in the need to impress. Sadly we let what others MIGHT think of us have too much impact on how we live our lives.
I love how you emphasized “might”. So much wasted time and energy worrying about what others “might” be thinking about us.
This concept has made me a better and more confident mom. For very long, I felt like I needed “acceptance” to the mom tribe but today I really could care less about that and much more on my (and my family’s) happiness. So yea sometimes my daughter gets to church with her shoes on the wrong feet and I might’ve went to bed with a dish (or two) in the sink last night but I’m okay with that!
Great post!
Thanks for sharing, Shaquita! Being ok with the imperfections in ourselves, our families…our lives is freeing!
Loving myself, being myself and allowing myself to say “no” have drastically improved my mood and given me SO much more time for the things I love! These are great tips. Thank you for sharing!
Thanks for reading and commenting, Allison! Spending time on the things we love is so much better than spending time trying to impress those around us.
Oh my goodness I love this. I let go of worrying what others thought about me long ago.
Yay, Jessica! It does seem that maybe we all eventually come to a place where we realize we can’t control how others feel/think about us, so why stress and worry.
Just this past year, at the age of 38, I’ve realized I really just don’t care much what other people think (within reason). I care more about what I think of myself and how I see myself. I’ve become okay with the extra 20 pounds of baby weight I still have despite having a 22 month old … I’m sure I’m probably the only one who notices it. I’ve become okay with leaving the house without makeup and most days don’t even where it to work anymore. I like how I look, natural. Most days I pull my hair back in a ponytail and forget about it. I pared down my closet and have a capsule wardrobe so I don’t have to think about what to wear. What I do still care about is that others see me as kind, friendly and compassionate. Those are the things that matter … not so much about what I look like on a given day at a given moment.
It sounds like you are caring about the right things, Jen! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this topic.
I really needed to hear this. I almost always am trying to impress everyone or at least show them that I am better than I seem. It gets so tiring putting on that face.
You’re right, Krysten; it is so very tiring.
Yes I agree. I let go of the need to impress other people a long time ago.
Good for you, Sophia!
Not easy to do, but we can keep trying right? Thank you for this vital reminder! I needed to hear it.
Not easy at all, Katie, but I think we can get better at letting go. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! 🙂
I love the idea of living authentically. I too, share just the highlights on social media and hope no one believes that’s my whole day. Thanks for this reminder.
You are welcome, Angela!
Oh yes, this is a hard one sometimes. I think a lot of us do it without even realizing we’re doing it. Great reminder to let go of that need and not worry about impressing others.
I think you make a good point about not even realizing we are doing it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Lisa!
This is so important to remember, and so hard to remember at the same time! Thank you for the reminder.
I’ve been trying to be more conscious about letting go of the need to impress others and take everything on. I was burnt out before, and I’m slowly improving, but it’s definitely a struggle!
It is a struggle, Kate; you’re right. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the topic!
I totally agree with everything! In fact, number 2 is enough to get me going, haha.
🙂
I love this! I really appreciate your first point, that we all have different gifts. That is something that I always try to remind myself, that we all have different talents and strengths. Thank you for the reminder today, I needed that!
You are welcome, Justine! And thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Yes yes yes to all of this! I think about how much time I’ve spent thinking about what OTHERS think of me and it’s all just wasted energy.
It is wasted energy; you are so right, Rachel!
Yes, yes this is good thank you. I am really focusing on “really” loving myself right now and a big part of that is letting go of what other’s think of me. Thank you for these reminders. 🙂
xo, Nicole
You are welcome, Nicole! I’m glad you are finding ways to love yourself. 🙂
This entire post is so encouraging and spot-on. The opening quote really grabbed my attention. And It’s so important that we walk in the unique gift we have been blessed with because like the body of Christ as described in the Bible every part is important!
Thanks for your kind words, Patricia! It is so important to embrace the gifts we have been given and be appreciative of the gifts we see in others. As you said, every part is important!